Monday, August 9, 2010

Well, we are 1 1/2 weeks past the last chemo, and it has been pretty rough. The day after chemo I always have to go back and get a bone marrow booster shot and that seems to be the deal breaker that pushes me over the edge. Each day after that I just got sicker and sicker. It' s not that I am that nauseous, but the total exhaustion and muscle pain gets pretty bad. As that gets worse it gets harder to do anything, like simply getting out of a chair or walking to the bathroom, and I get very winded trying to breath, which then makes my heart rate go wacky. By Monday morning I was in pretty bad shape. Steve had already left for work when I called the City of Hope triage nurse. I could hardly talk to her let alone say my name. She ordered me to call the person that could get to me the fastest and to go directly to the nearest emergency room. I have a very bad impression of emergency rooms (mostly from friends experiences), that I was real reluctant to go, but at that point I knew something had to change. So I called my dear friend, Barbara, and she came and got me and off we went. They took me right in and proceeded to do their thing. Because of the breathing and the chemo they thought I might have a blood clot in the lung (which apparently is not uncommon). But after an entire day in the emergency room and three different tests for a blood clot (and not finding one) they finally decided it was just a bad reaction to the chemo. I had to stay the night to be observed. On Tuesday afternoon I finally came home. I cannot believe how long it is taking to get over this. I have finally come to accept what my chemo doctor said and it probably will take 8-10 weeks to really feel like a human being again. I have to do just about nothing. I walk very slow and don't exert any extra energy, otherwise I start breathing funny again. And it takes nothing to make my leg and arm muscles burn. It's like when you run up several flights of stairs and you get that muscle burn, except all I did was walk down the hall. Anyway, each day is getting a tiny bit better, but it is just slow. So, I am spending my days doing paperwork, going through old files and cleaning out my work contact files, which go back many years. I'm even working on my daughter's wedding pictures from a year ago.
I have several doctor visits along with a repeat CT scan and bone scan, and a couple of other tests to get done before I see the chemo doctor again in 2 weeks. Then we go from there. I am scheduled for more reconstruction surgery at the end of October (this is a work in progress). I am really looking forward to my hair growing back. I am taking hair and nail vitamins. I have never been a vitamin fan, but right now I will do anything to expedite the process and get those follicles to regenerate. Other than that I am just trying to be good and let my body recover from this chemical onslaught. Right now I am glowing (and not because of a halo) and I think my insides are pretty toxic. In fact in the emergency room they always ask you if you are an organ donor. I hate to be selfish, but who wants anything from my body right now. So I politely declined. Thank you to everyone who has called, continued to send cards, and so generously brought meals and done shopping for us. Thank you.